Analyze This!

No,I'm not talking about that horrible movie with Robert DeNiro. Wow, that movie was bad. I am speaking directly to the powers that be at Google. Yes, that Google. I know, I know, why does anybody bother applying to Google anymore when it seems to be far easier being accepted to Stanford? Well, I am job searching and I want to make the best of my job search. I do want to apply to positions for which I am at least 85% qualified for. And one of those positions, dammit, was at Google.

The role that I am after is called a "People Analyst" (hence my post title). Quite frankly, I don't know if another person exists who is more perfect for this position. It is in the HR department and focuses on new employee initiatives and their respective successes. I'm sure it delves deeper than that, but this is the little bit of information I gathered from the job listing.
Google, oh Google, here is why you need me on your team, seriously:

1. I have the statistical prowess needed to run the numbers (just take a look at my previous posting)
2. I can develop surveys in my sleep...good ones!
3. If there was ever a need for an individual who can effectively navigate human behavior, AND number-crunch, this position would be it.

I am not sure, Google, if you're familiar with the term "EQ"? It stands for emotional quotient. If anyone from HR is reading this, I would hope that you are familiar with the term because it is incredibly important-I would say paramount-to job success. I know Google prides itself on having a staff of very cerebral, top-tier school graduating, 1600 SAT-having individuals, but if you haven't considered the emotional quotient of an individual, then you are really missing the boat.
To prove what I great fit I would be, I am providing my results from a version of a common personality test given by HR that reveals my score for the Big 5 personality traits. To get more information about validity, reliability and the open-resource nature of the test, click here. Keep in mind that my real name isn't used, but that I did answer all questions truthfully and the narrative provided was not altered in any way. This is all me, take it or leave it!
Enjoy.